// Blog
Adventure is worthwhile in itself.
// Amelia Earhart
Suddenly, like a puppet with its strings cut, I was unable to continue. I had no energy, physically or mentally. I couldn’t move forward, and I had zero desire to try. I lay down in the dirt on the side of the trail, the tall pines towering above me blocking the night sky. It didn’t feel like fatigue from running, there was no gradual onset or buildup, just immediate complete and utter exhaustion. I had never experienced anything like it.
Up to that point things had gone well. I was just shy of 100 km into the 330 km Tor Des Geants, a race around Italy’s Aosta Valley. After about 10 minutes, not wanting my stationary GPS tracker to trigger concern, I got up and wearily shuffled along to the next aid station. I tried to eat, and drink, and nap, and my crew tried to motivate me, but nothing worked, not even the energizing light from a new day.
After another slow 20 km, I was done. I stopped again and sat on a rock, admiring the beauty of the mountains. I decided that at the next aid station I would quit. I rehearsed it all in my head – what I would tell my crew, my wife, and my coach. I thought of the excuses I could post on social media. I had never been more certain about dropping from a race.
The Case Intervention
Before I could open my mouth to say anything, I heard a familiar voice over my shoulder. It was Stephanie Case, an accomplished ultrarunner and humanitarian. She has spent her life helping people in true crises, and here I was complaining about being tired during what amounted to a catered hike around the Italian Alps.
Stephanie was clearly having none of whatever I was trying to say
I still have no recollection of exactly what Stephanie said to me. But after twenty minutes and a reviving cup of gelato from my crew, I was back on my feet. I continued down the 30 km long descent into Donnas, then trudged nearly 3,000 meters up to Rifugio Coda. There, amidst hikers who had come up to enjoy a beautiful sunset over the expansive Piedmont region, I spotted Kyle Curtin with his head down on the rustic wooden table. Kyle had been my pacer at Hardrock the year before when I was in his condition at the Burrows aid station.
Resurgence
We left together, resolved to continue moving. Gradually our pace quickened, and our energy returned as we took turns leading. Each one’s high carried the other through a low. Before long we weren’t just moving forward hoping to finish, we were racing again. We made it back into the top 25. Then we were in the top 15 as we flew past a group of runners on a descent. Suddenly, the idea of a top 10 finish wasn’t ridiculous.
We moved up to 12th together before I was overcome by sleep deprivation on the final night of our nearly three and a half day journey. Kyle carried on and finished strong to get that top 10 finish. I stopped for a nap and dropped back to 15th, which I was honestly happy with in exchange for being able to recharge and fully enjoy the final part of the route.
It’s the Journey
For some reason, in four attempts, I have yet to have a strong race at Tor Des Geants. But as I finished that year, I felt nothing but joy and appreciation for being able to participate in the event. I will be forever grateful to my crew, Stephanie, and Kyle, for their part in getting me the rest of the way around the indescribably beautiful Aosta Valley.
Photo:Kyle Curtin
Since that race, in anything I choose to do, I make a point to ask myself, “If the outcome isn’t what I desire, will I still be glad I had the experience?” I pursue activities and goals where I will be happy and fulfilled from the process rather than just the outcome. If the outcome is also positive, then that’s a bonus.
I wrote this series of blog posts before I started the 2,200 mile Appalachian Trail. By the time this one is published I will have been on the trail for five or six weeks. I might be doing well and progressing towards a positive outcome, or maybe it has been one struggle after another and that goal is now well out of reach. In either case, I’ll focus on enjoying the adventure and appreciating all that has gone into making it possible.
That includes the massive amount of work done to clear over 400 miles of trail that were closed after Hurricane Helene. Throughout recovery from that storm, silver linings and little things to appreciate have been everywhere. No one would ever wish to experience a disaster like Helene, but there is still no place I would rather call home than the mountains of southern Appalachia. It is where my adventures began.
John Kelly is attempting to break the record for the near 2,200-mile Appalachian Trail. This blog series coincides with weekly video episodes following his journey.
Watch this week’s video below:
John Kelly is the original architect and developer of Envelop Risk’s core technology, CyberTooth. After spending a few years in the UK building the team, he now lives back in the US with his family. John is also an internationally recognized ultra marathon runner, one of only three people to complete the Barkley Marathons more than once and the record holder on many well-known routes, including the Pennine Way. The thoughts and views in these posts are his own reflections from experiences as an accomplished athlete and entrepreneur, and do not necessarily reflect the views of others at Envelop Risk.
